


The Better Late Than Never Affair

by sparky955



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 11:16:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3690189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparky955/pseuds/sparky955
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Easter comes to Maine and the retired men from UNCLE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Better Late Than Never Affair

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Spikesgirl58 and the 2015 LiveJournal Man From UNCLE Survival School Easter Egg event

I hate deadlines.

I know.

I mean, I really, really, _really_ hate deadllines.

So you have said repeatedly since sunrise, Napoleon.

Why did I agree to do this?

To which _this_ do you refer: moving to Maine, becoming The Dogfather of Maine, volunteering to coordinate the town’s Easter brunch –

Not smothering you in your sleep sometime over the past twenty years –

-waiting this late to write your introductory remarks? And, I heard that, by the way, and I can only respond, I would have returned from the dead to annoy you for the rest of your procrastinating life.

Remind me why I fell in love with you.

Because nobody else can give you this.

Illya, I admit you have an impressive hot staff of passion, but –

-I meant a good swift kick in the ass to stop complaining and write the damned thing already!

Oh.

As for the other, if you don’t single-handedly cause every covered dish at the brunch to be ruined by delaying the start, we might have a staff meeting this evening.

I’ll see if I can fit you in to my…schedule. Okay, how’s this?

Let me see.

You might need these glasses, Helen Keller.

_Atebis_. Dear God, Napoleon, your handwriting is getting even more wretched. “We come together on this Sunday to welcome beginnings. For some of us, it’s the affirmation of our faith. For others, it’s in gratitude for the ending of the winter and the rebirth of the earth. For us all, let us remember those who are with us in spirit and let us use their spirit to once again renew our commitment to this community, to this land, and to each other.” Occasionally, Napoleon, you demonstrate why I put up with you. This is quite perfect.. Sylvaine would be appreciative, not only for your thoughts but for also not going on so long that the salads would wilt.

Thanks, partner.

Now, let’s go, but before we do, I need to tell you three things.

What?

One, I will never cease to be proud to both love you and to share my life with you. Two, Charlie and Chris are bringing their white chocolate bunny pasta with vanilla mango whipped cream for dessert.

Mother of God. Where the hell is THRUSH when you need them?

And Irene is bringing a couple cases of Rombauer.

Ah. What are the rest of you going to drink?

“ _What do you do with a drunken ex-spy, what do you do with a drunken ex-spy, what do you do with a drunken ex-spy-"_

_"-Let him screw his partner!"_

Later, my love. Let’s go.


End file.
